Walk a mile in my shoes
Coate Water, 18 June at 11am. All welcome!

Support Lines - Swindon: 07519 832642 - Devizes: 07933 396992

Personal Stories

Sophie's Story

Sunday 23rd I stayed over my Mum's house ready to go out for the day with the family on the Monday. We arrived at the beach, was such a lovely day spending time with the family as well as the sun being out. Later on that day I went to my home where me and my Partner lived together.

I decided to stay at my Mum's again that night. So when I arrived back at my Mum's I was watching some telly, then went to bed at about 23:00. I woke up at about 4-5ish in the morning for the normal wake up of my little boy kicking me through the night. That was his routine! I finally fell back to sleep and woke up in the morning.

Everything was normal, until I thought it was weird that Jaiden (my little boy) hadn't kicked me all day and that the last time I had felt him was early hours in the morning. I decided to leave it until bed time as it was late in the evening anyway and I knew he would always come active as soon as he knew his Mummy was relaxed. So I got ready for bed a few hours later, with him still not kicking. As a first time Mum I didn't know what to expect or if I was just being over protective. I put a film on in bed and fell asleep. Come 3:00 in the morning waking up to go to the toilet, I had noticed he still hadn't woken me up. I woke my Partner up to tell him Jaiden hasn't kicked me and I was really worried. He said let's go to hospital, but i didn't want to. I really thought there was nothing wrong and I was definitely over reacting. I then managed to get back to sleep.

I woke up in the morning and rang my Mum and told her I hadn't felt anything all night. She said I have to go hospital, telling me that it was probably okay but to just get it checked. I was so scared! I asked my Sister to come with me, thinking my Partner didn't need to as there was nothing wrong! I wasn't expecting any bad news at all. I arrived at the hospital, I was seen straight away! I was put on a monitor to monitor the heartbeat. The Sonographer couldn't pick up any heartbeat and told it was probably that the baby had his back to us. She then took me in to be scanned. The man came in straight away to scan me, he scanned me for about 10 minutes. He went to get another Sonographer for another opinion on what he was seeing. The Sonographer was a lady, she scanned me, within 3-4 minutes of looking at the screen she knew what she was seeing. She just looked at me and then that's when it became the worse day of my life!!

She told me my baby's heartbeat had stopped. I broke down into tears and couldn't stop crying. They told me I would have to give birth to my baby anytime soon as I was 27w+5days. I thought it was all a dream. I then had to come home and tell my Partner and the rest of the family the dreadful news.

I went home and broke the horrible news. I said to my Partner I have to go back up there now, I just wanted to get it all over and done with. I got my hospital bag ready and went off to the hospital.

They started me off 01:30 in the morning, then went down to delivery at 11:00 in the morning having my gorgeous little boy at 12:12 in the afternoon. He was so perfect weighing at 2 lbs, 2 oz.

I also had my little boy blessed at the hospital on the 1st of June and his beautiful funeral on the 14th of June. I didn't agree to have a post-mortem but had blood tests done, with the results coming back that I had a blood clot on my womb which caused no oxygen to my baby as the placenta was pushed away. I was so angry with the hospital, as they were aware of my family history of blood clotting and I was sent a letter at 17 weeks pregnant saying I was at high risk of clotting, but nothing was done to prevent it.

I had such little time with my baby, he was taken far too soon but he will always be in here in my heart with me. I love you Jaiden and you're missed so dearly!

Rest In Peace xx

Click here to see Sophie's Photo Memories

About Memories

The memories one creates during the time of loss are very different and unique to every individual.

If you would like to add a page of remembrance, or add your own story and memories then please contact admin@swindonsands.org